I wish I could dig the grave of 6 feet down and jump in it right now and never come back.
"Diya?.."
Atharv quickly walked to me but I stood up on my feet before he could reach me.
"I'm okay."
His feet halted just two feet away from mine and I squealed back a little while his charcoal dark orbs gazed me from up to bottom.
He gave a short nod and back off few steps.
"Do you need anything?"
He asked and feeling his unwavering gaze on me I immediately shook my head.
His brows creased for a moment before he turned back to his previous spot and lift the file in his hands.
I slowly turned my head thinking in which direction should I run only to found Akshita and Rumika standing like a yamraaj's gatekeepers, warning me through their big eyes.
My lips wobbled, pleading them not to sacrifice me for this mission but they were adamant.
"What do you want Diya?"
My posture straightened with the speed of lighting and my breath hitched when I found his eyes already looking at me.
"Atharv..." I gulped as my throat parched because of his intrigued gaze on me. "I have one re...request."
He nodded asking me to speak further. My eyes darted on his biceps when he folded his hands and my heart accelerated. Because of the polo blue t-shirt he was wearing matching with black denims, the bluish green lines spread on his arms under the skin.
Heat crept on my neck when I found his incendiary thronged charcoal orbs intrigued on me, patiently waiting for my reply.
My head dipped down in embarrassment as my eyes closed while I was feeling like a culprit of staring at something I shouldn't. But why? Why I was feeling something so twisted in my stomach?
"Diya?..."
His calm tone pulled me back out of my thoughts and my head jerked up.
"Huh?..."
"You wanted to say something. What is it?" He asked with same calmness that was brewing in his two blackholes. Deep, calm, but at same time ready to devour everything in them.
I blinked looking everywhere but in his eyes.
Just say it Diya. You can do it.
I inhaled mustering some courage as my next words rolled down my tounge like a F1
"Please.." My meek voice was crystal clear in the room as he inahled a long breath before saying.
"If you are here to defend them then you better go because this time they need some good lessons for being so irresponsible."
"Bu..but it was unintentional." I tried to say.
"No other would have taken the responsibility of that unintentional act if something happened to three of you."
He exclaimed with anger thronging in his orbs.
Though he was right. Anything could happen. I did not know where we might ended up if he was not present at the moment.
He turned and resumed his work taking out the another file from the shelf.
I slowly turned my head and saw them still standing there listening our all conversations.
I shook my head but they moved their lips sternly ordering me to not to return till the mission was successful even if I have to sacrifice myself for that.
I looked at him and my fingers fidgeted thinking ways to sacrifice myself but nothing seemed useful.
"Atharv..." I called him in slow voice as my feet moved involuntarily few steps closer. "Both of them are so upset and regretting their actions. Let give them a last chance."
He sighed but his tone didn't budge. "Diya.."
"Athu please..."
His movements abruptly halted and I processed what just had happened now. My eyes widened with my heart racing with the force of hundred galloping horse.
I just do not say that.
His eyes moved from the file to me and my head dipped down with my eyes closed regretting having my stupid tounge.
"I.." He cleared his throat. "I'll think about it."
My head snapped up and he looked sideways pinching his nose bridge.
"You won't tell Yugant right?"
"Diya..."
He was about to speak something but looking at me he sighed and muttered something under his nose.
"Huh?.."
"I won't."
A very big smile appeared on my lips. Finally, I did it, without sacrificing myself. Mission successful.
"But..."
And just like this the latter eclipsed my smile. It was only for a moment. My eyebrows thinned waiting for his 'but'.
"They are grounded for a month. That's there punishment."
Atleast he would not tell Yugant and they did not have to face his warth. I slowly nodded my head agreeing to him.
"Okay. Thank you Atharv."
I said and something flickered in his charcoal blackholes I couldn't fathom but he quickly blinked moving his attention to those royal plain colour files.
The smile returned on my lips and I exited his room only to get startled.
They both grabbed wrists and teleport to Akshita's room just in a blink. My body became sandwich as they hugged me tightly.
"Thank you Diyu. I love you sooooo much." Akshita squealed. "I knew only you could do it." Rumika exclaimed.
I exhaled hard, trying to fill my lungs from air when they left me. If they would have squeezed me few minutes more then definitely I might collapsed.
"See I told you. He would listen to you only." Akshita chimed.
Yes, he did listen to me but I was still in astonish. How did this happen? There was not a cent chance he would listen one word let alone the talk, seeing his reaction in morning but he did. Why?
"Vese, tarika acha tha...Athu." Rumika bumped my shoulder as they both were looking at me with a smirk.
Heat crept on my neck and I looked everywhere but in their teasing pairs of orb.
Even I was shocked. How could I said that aloud? But my tongue did before I could fathom anything.
"She always used to call him that. Always. If I remember correctly. Hai n Diyu?" Akshita said.
Both of their eyes darted on me and I nervously licked my lips while heat rush in my veins. I was looking everywhere but at them. They both chuckled and I closed my eyes in embarrassment.
This is too much for me. I want to go home.
Time skipped. The heavy clouds seized the afternoon sun which was trying best to spread its beams all over. We three watched a movie and had our lunch with the family members.
Having a family like this was blessing and they were blessed having each other through their thick and thin.
"Diya..."
My head lifted to look at Akshita from my nails as she was polishing them with soft light pink. The nails of her left hand were big, not too much but still while mine were soft. She asked me to grow them but I couldn't stop myself from chewing them.
She blinked few times. It seemed like she wanted to say something important but fidgeting with the right words.
"What happened?" I asked.
She inhaled and looked at me with her pretty smile just like she was. Pretty.
"Which was your favourite subject?" She asked and my mouth opened and closed for a moment.
"Social Science." I answered in low voice. It was my favourite as it had many fascinating facts but what I loved most about the subject, it was easy to score. I used to participate in quizzes and had been a first position holder everytime.
She looked down applying the polish and asked again. "Is it still your favourite?"
My words halted in my throat. I wasn't able to speak anything as I did not know what to say. My head dipped down.
She inhaled a long breath and I knew what she was going to speak as Mom Dad was trying to persuade the same thing from last two months.
She capped the bottle after painting my nails and said looking at me.
"Diya, I know you're not comfortable and ready yet but there's no specific date and time to take the first step. It's when you start, when you dare to take that first step. And the world has moved ahead much more we think. There's no specific age to do something, there's no specific time to start something, there's no specific date to begin. It's all upon our willpower. Just some courage it's all takes."
My mind revolved around her words and this was exactly what my parents tried to say to me.
Sure the world had moved ahead but I was left behind it and time, both. Thirteen years! It was not some few days or weeks. It was thirteen years I had to fight with. It was me against of that thirteen years myself I had to fight with.
I blinked stopping the tears to form furthermore.
"Diya..." She took my hands in her and continued. "It's okay to be a little unknown. It's completely alright to be left behind. It doesn't feel okay but it's okay. No one was going to judge you. The people are so engrossed to themselves than looking at others. And you know there's no age to stop learning. There's no end point of gaining knowledge as it's so enormous. It doesn't matter if you know anything or not. It doesn't matter what you have learnt is wrong or right till you're willing to learn."
I just stayed silent as I did not know what to say. Tears escaped from my eyes even after I tried to hold them.
" Start again Diya. We all are with you. " She said and hugged me as those stupid salty water was not stopping from flowing.
She kept caressing my back and I tried to calm myself.
"See I know you want this nailpolish but that doesn't mean I will give you if you cry like this. I will gift you another pack okay so stop crying."
I chuckled through my sobs. She knew how to make someone smile.
" Diya, I have tissue paper. Please don't wipe your nose on my tshirt." She said and I broke the hug annoyingly clicking my tongue. She laughed and I laughed with her.
Soon, after few hours Mom called informing they were back.
My feet halted seeing him walking in my direction. His eyes catched mine and my body stiffed like always.
"Come, I'll drop you home." He said and passed my way, descending the stairs.
How did he know I was going to ask him to drop me off?
Nevertheless, I followed him. My steps were fast, trying to match his. Why he used to walk so fast?
I bid bye to everyone and followed him outside of the mansion.
As we sat inside the car, the tiny drops from clouds start hitting the car. He started the engine and the car hit the road.
As much as it was nosy outside it was pin drop silence inside. My heartbeat started to accelerate without any reason.
My eyes fell on his hand, holding the gear. The veins of his arm were calm unlike last night. Still they had been appearing with the slightest of movement.
I didn't know why a sudden urge to trace them rose inside me. My cheeks and ear turned hot. What was happening to me? Why I was suddenly feeling like.... suffocating?
I immediately shifted my eyes and closed them, tucking my head down and tried to calm down my stupid heart.
Why everytime it started behaving like this when he was around?
"Diya?.."
My head turned to him with a speed of lightning hearing his voice.
"Hn?..."
"You okay?"
His eyes shifted to me for a moment and my head turned down instantly on its own, not able to look into his intimating charcoal orbs.
"Ye.. yeah. I'm okay." No I'm not.
The 20 minutes ride felt like eternity. I held the handle of the door seeing the gate of my house in sight, ready to jump as soon as the car would stop.
But I stilled on my seat with my heart on the edge to blast when he grabbed my wrist before I could jump.
"Diya.." I turned my head slowly on his commanding voice and found him looking at me with a calm and concern look on his face. "Is everything alright?"
I looked into his eyes and slowly nodded my head.
He opened and closed his mouth, like he wanted to say something but he inhaled a long breath looking at me and left my head.
I quickly stepped out of the car muttering 'bye' and ran directly upstairs in my room.
I closed the door and dropped myself on the bed. My heart, my breath, my stomach, my cheeks, all the organs of my body was not functioning properly. I was feeling sick. My whole body had been shivering nonstop. Why???
"Diya baaji..."
Hearing the knock I immediately sat up and tried to calm down myself.
I opened the door and found Faiz with a worried look on his cute face.
"Baaji.. what happened? Amma said to check on you. The way you entered the house, running. Are you all right?"
I smiled a little, nodding my head and ruffle his hair making him giggle.
His face always lit up with a huge smile whenever I did ruffle his hair.
I let him entered in the room and he begun to told his school stories, on umpteenth repeat.
Seeing him so engrossed and happy telling about his school I remembered mine. All the memories flooded in my brain.
Those early morning, wait for school bus, those boring morning assemblies, that last minute wait before lunch seemed like wait of hours and creating a ruckus with Akshita every second day which later Yugant had to deal with like a big brother. Then there was Atharv who used to lecture us hours not to do that and this only to end up our life saver last minute from teachers.
"Baaji...."
I blinked, coming out my happy memories. I looked at Faiz who was looking at me with creased brows and I realised I was again zoned out.
"Baaji..." He again shook me.
"Huh?..."
"I'm asking how was your school?" He asked with a full of curious eyes, waiting for my reply.
"My school.." My voice got stuck in my throat as tears started to threaten my eyes. "I..I..." And suddenly I remembered something.
I stood up and went through my cupboards. One-two drops of tears slipped through my cheeks as I took out the small photo album with my trembling hands.
"Baaji kya dundh rahe ho?" (What are you finding?)
I wiped my cheeks harshly through back of my palm and sat on my previous spot near him, folding my legs on bed.
Before I could gather some courage to open it, he took it from my lap to his and opened it with all the excitement.
The black and white photographs and some colorful too. Yugant, Atharv, Akshita, our little Arnav, Me and...Anjali. It had all the photos of us together.
It was Anjali's. She loved to click pictures and then used to collect those precious moments in the albums.
Faiz was flipping through the hard page, giving attention to every picture while my lips had a small smile with salty pearls in my eyes as every moments of pics were playing in my mind.
"Oh same same!" He pointed towards a picture where Anjali had hugged me from behind and I had a big red teddy bear in my arms. It was our 7th birthday and she had surprised me exact at 12am with that teddy bear she brought for me.
"Baaji, she is Anjali baaji right ?" Tears flowed through my chin. "But where is she now? It had been months I have seen her. Amma also doesn't tell me." Faiz said. "You know she always helped in my homeworks and during exams she used to teach me. Last year I came first in my class. And when I showed her my report card she had gifted me my favourite toy car I always wanted and you know...."
"Faiz..." A loud voice of Kurba Bai from downstairs interrupted him and he ran, keeping the album in my lap.
I closed the album knowing if I continue I wouldn't able to control myself from breaking down.
It had stopped raining while darkness captured the sky with a soft hush of wind blowing. Thousands of things was running in my mind leaving all tired and defeated at the end of the day.
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